It's that time of year.... students are heading off to college, often for the first time. And, both they and their parents are nervous.

这是一年中的关键时刻…学生们将要前往大学，绝大多数是第一次，他们和家长都很紧张。

We've been around since 1896. So, quite literally, the first students were dropped off at our gates via horse and buggy. In the early 1900's, the Webber Expresstrain shuttled faculty, staff,and students from our summer campus in Boston to our winter campus in Babson Park, Florida.So, we've seen a lot of anxious parents over the decades. Take a deep breath --it will be okay, we're going to take good care of them -- and read these top five tips.

我们自1896年来到这个世上，所以有些字面上的意思，一个在我们大门前被放下的学生是骑马和马车。在1900年初，韦伯特快列车装载着教员和学生从波士顿的夏季营地到在巴布森公园，弗罗里达的冬季营地。所以我们在一年年中看到过许多焦急的家长。深呼吸一下——这没关系，我们会好好照顾他们——读读这5点建议。

1) Give it time. Your son or daughter just got thrust into adulthood. It's a big transition. They don't yet have a lot of experience being an adult. Lots of things are going on. It's stressful. They'll adjust. Give it a little while. About 10 percent of our students come, within the first hour or two of meeting their roommate (often the first person with whom they have ever shared a room) asking to change roommates and are reminded of our "no matter how much you hate your roommate, you cannot change rooms for two weeks" policy. And, an amazing thing happens: fewer than ½ of 1 percent come back to actually change roommates. The vast majority, having had dozens of opportunities to switch accommodations and/or roommates, are still roommates at graduation. Many go to each other's weddings -- often a few states or even a few continents away -- and other events years or decades after graduation.

1）给点时间。你的儿子或者女儿刚刚成年，这是个巨大的改变。他们还没有大量的成人经验，很多事情继续前进，这很有压力，他们会调整，给他们点时间。大概10%的学生，在头一两个小时遇到室友时间里，来要求更换室友，并被提醒我们的“不管你多恨你的室友，你不能在2周里换宿舍”政策。然后，惊奇的事情发生了：少于0.5%的学生真正要求换室友。大部分人，尽管有大量的机会可以调整房间或者室友，最终住在一起直到毕业。很多参与了彼此的婚礼——经常是不少州甚至大陆远的地方——和其他事情在毕业几年甚至几十年之后。

2) Sometimes, it's just venting. Few colleges are, in fact,evil. We're a small school which actually makes faculty teach instead of shoving it off on graduate assistants. We insist that professors have office hours during which a student can walk in without an appointment and talk to their actual professor (imagine the indignity of students just being able to walk in and talk to their professor!) Yet, we get over 200 applications for any faculty position we post. I simply don't need to hire bad faculty. And what do youreally think is more likely... the entire kitchen staff forgot we were serving breakfast just like we did for the last 42,522 mornings in a row - including on rare occasions through a power outage -- and not a single employee showed up,or your son or daughter slept through breakfast?

2）有时，这只是排除。事实上很少大学很坏，我们是个让教员教课而不是用硕士生代替的小学校。我们坚持教授有办公室时间让学生无需预约也可以进来和教授交谈（想想学生可以进入并跟他们教授谈论！）。但是，我们张贴的每一个岗位都有200多个申请者，我不需要雇佣差的教员。你们如何想的更有可能发生…整个厨房职工忘记我们正在供应早餐就像过去42522个早晨一样——包括很少情况下断电的时候——没有一个职工出现，或者你的儿子或女儿睡过了早餐？

3) College is a full time job. The best thing about my job is graduation, when we see folks who walked in kids leaving as adults,more often than not with their first job already lined up. We have moderately selective admissions and incredibly high job placement rates. The only way to pull that off is by being intense. College is intense, and a lot of work. And, your son or daughter has a schedule to follow, and it can be pretty unforgiving(a couple of consecutive days of missed math class can sink you!)They simply cannot be missing a lot of class the 32 weeks a year we have them;they'll be home 20 weeks (plus an occasional long weekend). You just don't do them any favors by making them choose between attending a family event and taking their final exam.

3）大学是全职工作，我工作最好的一点就是毕业，当我们看到进来是孩子出去已经成人并且经常已经有了他们第一份工作的人群。我们有适度竞争性的录取和难以置信高的工作率，唯一让这实现的方法就是强度。大学是强度极大的，一大堆工作，你们的儿子或者女儿有需要遵循的不可饶恕的课程表（一些连续的缺课会让你崩溃！）他们不能错过每年32周里很多的课程；他们会在家20周（加上周某）。你们不需要让他们去选择是参加家庭事件或是考期末考试。

4)Keep giving good advice. Amazingly,the downhill slide during high school reverses itself and parents start getting smarter during college! I've told them to go to class, even if they are sleepy.I've told them not to leave their phone lying around because we know folks who have had their phone stolen at church -- church! I've told them that even on safe campuses bad things can happen so they need to sign up for the emergency messaging service, look both ways before crossing the street, and be aware of their surroundings, especially when they venture off campus to the bigcity.

4）继续提供好的建议。惊奇的是，高中期的低谷在大学转变过来，家长们开始变得聪明！我告诉他们即使再困也要去上课，不要把手机随意地放在四周因为我们知道有人手机在教堂被偷——教堂！我告诉他们即使在安全的校园里也会有不好的事情发生所以他们需要加入紧急情况信息服务，过马路前看看四周，注意四周的情况，特别是离开校园到大城市里面冒险。

And, I've told them that if they find themselves off campus not able to drive home, we'll send someone to get them and bring them home, even if they are not of lawful drinking age (don't fool yourself... there's a bar near campus - every campus - which doesn't card).And, I've told them if they have a fever they should go see the nurse, and, if she sends them to the doctor, they should go (that's why we make them have good insurance). Hearing the same good advice from you surely cannot hurt. You just think they're not listening to you.

我告诉过他们在校园外不能开车回家时，我们会派人接他们并送回家，即使他们没有到法定饮酒年龄（不要骗自己…校园旁有个酒吧——每个校园——并不是记录在明面上）。我还告诉过他们如果他们得流感就应该看护士，如果她带他们去看医生，他们应该去（这就是为什么让他们买好的保险）。听到你们相同的建议肯定不会伤害他们，你们只是认为他们不听你们的。

5) Resist the urge to call the college or university.You'll betempted, but resist. Of course it would be more efficient than letting your student deal with it. You and I have had years and years of experience at it, so we are better at solving problemsthan is your son or daughter. But no good college is going to do anything for you they would not do for your son or daughter. Sure, you and I could almost certainly fix a problem -- almost any problem -- quicker than could your son or daughter, because we've learned all those social navigation skills and all those problem solving skills. But, we don't really need to learn how to do these things, do we? Better for them to learn these skills at college, with a big safety net under them, than in the workplace. And, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard "Oh, I am so embarrassed. I see you every day at lunch and would have come and talked to you if I needed to. I was just having a bad day and needed to talk to someone and had no idea they'd call."

5）阻止打电话给大学的冲动。你们会被诱惑但是要忍耐，当然让学生处理更高效。你们和我在这上面有年复一年的经验，所以我们比孩子更擅长于解决问题。但是没有一所好的大学会为你们做一些为学生从没做过的事情。当然，你们和我可以解决问题——近乎于任何问题——比孩子们更快，因为我们所过社交技能和那些问题的解决方法。但是，我们不需要去学这些对吧？孩子们能在大学学到这些会比在工作中更好，至少有一个安全的网在他们下面。如果我每次听到“噢，我很难为情，我每天吃午饭的时候看见你，如果有需要我会来和你谈谈，这真是不好的一天，我需要找个人聊聊并且不知道他们会打电话。”

And,there you have it. It's a tough transition, for all of you. But I walk through the campus every single day, and I see the weekend laundry runs (new popular item on campus: laundry hampers with wheels and handles). They'll be back to visit, snack, do laundry,and stock up on supplies soon and you'll doubtlessly be both saddened and filled with joy to note that they've grown a bit with every visit!

那么，你们知道了，只是个很艰难的转变，对于你们所有人来说。但是我每天都会在校园里穿过，我看到周末洗衣房在工作（校园里新的事物：有轮子和把手的洗衣房食盒）。他们很快可以参观，吃点心，洗衣服，储存供应品，你们很快会既伤心又高兴当发现每一次来看望时他们都会成长一点。

翻译：Ben

原文链接：http://www.huffingtonpost.com/keith-wade/top-five-tips-for-parents_b_5629641.html

【智梦简介】

智梦是一家专注美国本科留学的教育咨询机构。

我们的使命：

“智梦教育团队深知留学申请关系到学生及其家长的前途和未来，我们将竭尽所能帮助每一位智梦学员发掘其潜在的特质，以开放透明的申请方式，让他们能不留遗憾的争取到自己的理想学校。与此同时，培养他们成为诚实守信、独立思考、德才兼备的国际化人才。”

我们的愿景：

“智梦教育将成为一所发掘学术兴趣，培养学术能力，塑造具有公民意识的新时代留学生的学校。”