作者简介：Summer, 智梦杭外剑桥班学生，在杭外期间创办了YY Design（公益和设计）社团，热爱写作、大提琴，因知性优雅的气质，被同学们亲切地称呼为“女神”。今年秋季将去圣母大学honor program（心理学方向）学习。
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翻译：Ben
If I am going to name a book that had most influence on me,it must be “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg. The subtitle of the book is “Women,work and the will to lead”, but personally, I think it delivers a message much more than that. It encourages people all over the world, both male and female,to work together for a more equal world. I would suggest that not only every girl should read it, but every male as well. For equity will not beachieved when there is only a half of the population fighting for it.
如果我要说出一本对我影响最深的书，它一定会是谢丽尔·桑德伯格“向前一步”。书的副标题是“女性，工作和领导意愿”，但是个人而言，我认为这传递的信息不止这一点。它鼓励世界各地的人们，男人女人，为了一个更加公平的世界一起努力。我建议不仅仅每个女孩应该阅读这本书，每个男人也同样应该。因为如果只有一半的人口为了公平奋斗，公平不会实现。
The first step to achieve equity is to recognize and admit inequity. Inequity manifests itself in many different forms: between the rich and poor, between different races etc, but here we are focusing on the inequity between two genders. In our daily life, everyone, I dare say,witnesses sexism more or less. I could give a lot of examples without spending time to recall: the abortion of millions of female fetus, the difficulties of pregnant women faced in the work place, the social expectation imposed on women that “having a nice husband is more important than having a nice career”. The list goes on and on.What astonishes me is that we, including myself, regard these facts as NORMAL.We would even say, and actually believe, that “it is just the way the world is”. NO, IT’S NOT.
实现公平的第一步是认识并承认不公平。不公平以不同的形式表现出来：贫富之间，种族之间等，但这里我们集中在两性之间。在我们日常生活中，每个人，我敢说，或多或少亲眼见证过性别主义。我不需要时间去回忆就可以给出很多例子：无数的流产女婴，工作场合中孕妇的困境，对于女性的社会期望：“有一个好丈夫胜于有一个好工作”。这份列举有很多很多。让我震惊的是我们，包括我自己，认为这些事实是正常的。我们甚至会说，并真的相信，“这就是世界”。不，这并不是。
So the first important thing the book made me realize is that these things that we are getting used to are not “normal” and need to be changed, by us. The second big enlightenment occurred when it pointed out that “in addition to the numerous external barriers erected by society, women are hindered by barriers that exist within ourselves.”In a word,women are holding themselves back. Why? Sheryl points out that first,“we internalized the negative messages we get throughout our lives—the messages that say it’s wrong to be outspoken, aggressive, more powerful than men. We lower our own expectations for what we can achieve.” Second, and more importantly,“success and like ability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women.” While successful men are admired by the public, successful women are generally disliked by both men and women.
所以这本书让我意识到的第一个重要的事情是，我们习惯的事情不是“正常的”，需要被我们所改变。第二个大启发发生于书指出“除了被社会所建立的外在阻碍，女性被她们自身的障碍所阻挠”。总而言之，女性拖住自己的后腿。为什么？Sheryl第一个提出：“我们使生活中得到的负面内容内在化——认为比男性更加坦率，具有进攻性，强大是错误的想法。我们低估了自身可以达成的成就”。其次，更加重要的：“成功和可爱与男性正面的关系而与女性则是负面的”。但成功男性被社会所推崇，成功女性被男性和女性同时讨厌。
The book really rocks me for the strong feeling of sympathy it generates. It speaks the heart of women: the concern that being successful will cause dislike; the hatred to be described as “ambitious” for the term is seen as a negative adjective for women; the unwillingness to be called a “feminist” even though one believes deeply in its cause; the afraid that one may not get a date by being a smart girl etc. Honestly, all these feelings happen to me and I believe most female friends must feel the same. That’s what we inevitably feel under the existed social norms.
这本书所产生的认同感让我所震撼。它说出了女人的心声：担心于成功会产生厌恶；对于被形容为“有野心”的厌恶因为这个词对于女性来说是负面的，不愿意被称为“女权主义者”尽管坚信女权事业；害怕成为聪明女孩而找不到约会对象等等。诚然，这一切都在我身上发生过，我也相信大部分女性朋友感同身受。这是我们在现有社会准则下无法避免的感觉。
Another thought-provoking point given by the book is how both men and women suffer from the social norms. The working women are being judged just as stay-at-home daddies are being mocked on. In Sheryl’s eyes, a more equal world is one which men run half of the homes and women run half of the institutions. She pointsout that “true partnership in our homes does more than benefit couples today; it also sets the stage for the next generation”. If we may not able to change the entire society at once,at least we can let our children grow up in a home that is free of social norms and more a representative of an “equal world”.
另一个引人深思的内容是关于男性女性被社会准则伤害程度。工作中的女人被指责就像家庭妇男被嘲笑。在Sheryl眼中，一个公平的世界是男人掌控家庭的一半，女人运行机构的一半。她指出：“真正的家庭伙伴关系胜于现今的利益夫妻；它也为下一代定下了格局。”如果我们不能一次性地改变整个社会，至少我们可以让我们的孩子在没有社会规范但是有更多公平世界的代表的环境下成长。
Back to the title of the book—Lean In. Sheryl suggests in the book that as more women lean in to their careers, more men should lean in to their families. Yet I am hoping both parties to do more than that. For women, I genuinely hope that we can stop fitting into the already rooted social norms and even reinforcing them. I’ve seen so many girls deeply believe and actively spread the ideas such as “marriage first” or pursing higher education is shameful for girls etc.Please do not give more troubles to ourselves, ok? And for men, I really hope that men can care a bit more about the feministic cause, by that I mean the equalities between two sexes. I’ve lost counts of time when girls in a group started talking about sexism or feminism, men just went silent at once. The silence is not caused by the embarrassment men may feel discussing these topics with women but by their indifference. Though Sheryl champions to encourage the men to take this cause more seriously for a better world, I will suggest men to first think a smaller picture and just to remember that these women that are being discriminated on are your mother/wife/daughter. When a girl gets extremely depressed about a world full of sexism, what would she feel if she finds out that her father/husband/son is indifferent about this, or maybe, is even enjoying the advantages of their sex and is unwilling to make a change?
回到书名—向前一步。桑德伯格在书中指出当更多女性加入到工作中，更多男性会回到家庭中。但是我期望双方能做的不止这些。对于女性，我真诚的希望我们不要再陷入已有的社会规范甚至是加强它。我看到如此多的女孩对这些规范深信不疑并且积极地宣扬各种理念，类似：“结婚优先”或者女孩追求更高的教育是可耻的等等。请不要自找麻烦了好么？对于男性，我真的希望他们能对女权运动起因多一点的关心，我的意思是：两性之间的平等。我浪费了多次机会当女孩开始讨论性别歧视和女权主义，男孩立刻沉默了下来。这种沉默不是因为他们和女性讨论这些话题所可能产生的尴尬而是他们的不在意。尽管桑德伯格尽全力鼓励男性为了更好的世界对这些更加严肃，但是我建议男性首先想一个小一点的画面，只要记住被歧视的那些是你的母亲/妻子/女儿。当一个女孩对于一个充满性别歧视的世界极度失望，如果她发现她的父亲/丈夫/儿子对此并不在意甚至是享受他们性别优势不愿改变，她会感觉如何？
Two ideas occurred to me after I finished reading the book. First, just as Sheryl encourages all the women to do, I am to devote fully in whatever career I choose and lean in. I share the belief that more women in power will result in a more equalworld.Second, this book let me realize once again the power of words and affirms my dream to write books one day. Words have the power to let ourselves be heard and awaken other people’s thoughts. By that, we may make a difference in the world.
当我读完整本书两个想法出现在我脑海里。首先，就像桑德伯格鼓励所有的女性如何去做一样，我会全身心的投入到无论哪个我选的工作中并向前一步。我相信更多的女性掌权，世界将更加公平。其次，这本书让我再一次意识到文字的力量并肯定了我写书的梦想。文字有能力让我们被听到，唤醒他人的想法。通过这个，我们可能改变世界。
“This is me leaning in.Writing this book is what I will do if I weren’t afraid.” I nearly wept reading this line. Thank you so much Sheryl Sandberg, for taking this big step forward. Now it’s our turn.
“这是我的向前一步，写这本书是如果我不害怕所将要做的。”我读这句话时将要哭泣。非常感谢你，谢丽尔·桑德伯格，向前走了这么一大步。现在，该轮到我们了。
【智梦简介】
智梦是一家专注美国本科留学的教育咨询机构。
我们的使命：
“智梦教育团队深知留学申请关系到学生及其家长的前途和未来，我们将竭尽所能帮助每一位智梦学员发掘其潜在的特质，以开放透明的申请方式，让他们能不留遗憾的争取到自己的理想学校。与此同时，培养他们成为诚实守信、独立思考、德才兼备的国际化人才。”
我们的愿景：
“智梦教育将成为一所发掘学术兴趣，培养学术能力，塑造具有公民意识的新时代留学生的学校。”
